I had an epiphany yesterday... after spending time with two families with young children. Usually, when adults say having a child is "an experience", they say so because of the physical changes it causes in the lives of the parents. Sleepless nights, 3 am feedings, potty training, constant worry about what to teach them, how to discipline them, and who they'll grow up to be. But yesterday, I realized that there is more to the story.
If you are blessed to have children, you are blessed with a second childhood. Having a child changes everything, and not just because you are responsible for another human being. When I was in the car with Tracy and her 3-year-old son Malik, I noticed how she edited her speech, carefully choosing words she knew he was able to understand. You change the way you think; concepts that seem intuitive must be reassessed and simplified. In a sense, you relearn how to think about the world around you.
Having children also affords you the opportunity to relive moments from your childhood. Or to do things you never had the chance to do before. Back at New Grad, our RA Jolyon provided girl scout cookies and tea for residents in the lobby downstairs. His daughter, Sabrina, is in the Scouts and every year, he buys enough boxes of cookies to share with students in the building. While enjoying a few Thin Mints, I told him that I was going to the student circus performance at Rockefeller Chapel. He replied that he heard about the performance, but decided that the family did not have time to go. "But I've never been to a circus in my life," Sabrina interjected. "Yes, well, there will be other opportunities. There are plenty of things that you can do with children," Jolyon responded.
That comment made me think about all of those family outings when I was younger. Each time my parents took me on vacation out of state; each time we went to a history museum or an amusement park; the year we went to Disney World. There were times--I'm sure of it--that my parents had as much fun as I did. You get to try new experiences (or relive moments long past) and see them through the eyes of your child. I pray that I will have that opportunity someday. A second childhood--with all of the excitement and wonder of the first.
