Second Childhood

I had an epiphany yesterday... after spending time with two families with young children.  Usually, when adults say having a child is "an experience", they say so because of the physical changes it causes in the lives of the parents.  Sleepless nights, 3 am feedings, potty training, constant worry about what to teach them, how to discipline them, and who they'll grow up to be.  But yesterday, I realized that there is more to the story.

If you are blessed to have children, you are blessed with a second childhood.  Having a child changes everything, and not just because you are responsible for another human being.  When I was in the car with Tracy and her 3-year-old son Malik, I noticed how she edited her speech, carefully choosing words she knew he was able to understand.  You change the way you think; concepts that seem intuitive must be reassessed and simplified.  In a sense, you relearn how to think about the world around you.

Having children also affords you the opportunity to relive moments from your childhood.  Or to do things you never had the chance to do before.  Back at New Grad, our RA Jolyon provided girl scout cookies and tea for residents in the lobby downstairs.  His daughter, Sabrina, is in the Scouts and every year, he buys enough boxes of cookies to share with students in the building.  While enjoying a few Thin Mints, I told him that I was going to the student circus performance at Rockefeller Chapel.  He replied that he heard about the performance, but decided that the family did not have time to go.  "But I've never been to a circus in my life," Sabrina interjected.  "Yes, well, there will be other opportunities.  There are plenty of things that you can do with children," Jolyon responded.

That comment made me think about all of those family outings when I was younger.  Each time my parents took me on vacation out of state; each time we went to a history museum or an amusement park; the year we went to Disney World.  There were times--I'm sure of it--that my parents had as much fun as I did.  You get to try new experiences (or relive moments long past) and see them through the eyes of your child.  I pray that I will have that opportunity someday.  A second childhood--with all of the excitement and wonder of the first.

Singles Awareness Day

The first time I heard this phrase, uttered by one of my close friends, I laughed.  Reclaiming February 14th for all those who do not believe in (or could not take advantage of) celebrating the American concept of love by showering their significant other with gifts of sweets, flowers, and jewelry?  Creative.  But the older I get, and each new year that I spend alone, I have come to find the phrase painfully ironic.

Ever since I was a little girl, Valentine's Day has been an occasion to express love for the people in one's life, no matter how you love them.  Familial, platonic, or romantic, February 14th was the day to show your appreciation for all the kindness and support demonstrated by friends and family throughout the year.  To this day, my mother and grandmother still send me Valentine's cards in the mail.  It was not until I got a little older and started dating that I realized how much Americans focus on romantic love on February 14th.

Now, I truly believe in Singles Awareness Day.  Every year, as Valentine's Day draws near, I become more aware of the fact that I am single.  I'm not going give some sob story about how lonely I am or how I might never find true love... there are plenty of other places you can find such stories.  What I will say, is that being alone on Valentine's Day does bring up a lot of questions about the future and the nature of love.  It feels as if you are in the minority; that everyone has found someone special except for you.  This Valentine's Day, I hope I will be too distracted by problem sets and internship applications to spend much time thinking about it.

So to all those who will be lying in the arms of their lover this February 14th, Happy Valentine's Day.  To those who have fallen out of love, who have loved and lost, or who just are not currently in a relationship, Happy Singles Awareness Day.

Tunisia, Egypt, and Democracy in the Middle East

By now, everyone has heard of the events in Tunisia and Egypt; citizens are rising up to oppose their oppressive, dictatorial leaders.  As Mubarak makes promises for substantive strides toward democracy and leaders all over the Arab world promise not to run for re-election or dismiss members of their government, the question on the minds of people all over the world is "will these protests lead to an era of democracy in the Middle East?"

The experts have no consensus.  Some say Egypt and Tunisia are exceptions--that Ben Ali fell because Tunisia was especially susceptible to the global financial crisis and rising food prices.  During the brief time that I was in Egypt in 2009, my classmates and I noticed the corruption, cronyism, and rampant umemployment among youth.  We were told stories of friends and family members who graduated with fantastic credentials, yet were denied government jobs in favor of incompetent people with connections.  Many experts hold that the widespread corruption and unemployment led to Mubarak's (yet to be seen) downfall.

Others say that the two North African dictators are just the first in a long line of 20th century authoritarian leaders who will be deposed by popular protest.  Already, we have seen similar protests in Yemen, Syria, and threats of protests in Libya.  Even King Abdullah II of Jordan dismissed the Cabinet and promised to make changes in the Hashemite Kingdom.  These experts say that this is just the beginning; that we could be witnessing the birth of democracy in the Middle East.

Egypt I can understand, but I was very surprised to hear that King Abdullah--paranoid that protests might spread to Jordan--dismissed his cabinet.  When I was there, I saw nothing but admiration for alMalik and his family; even among the poorest citizens.  Buses in the rural areas were mini-shrines to the king.  Pictures of the royal family adorned shops, government buildings, and schools.  "Jordan First", the phrase originating from a largely successful social program was spray-painted on walls off Sharia Rainbow and in the "Refugee Camps".  My host mother in the northern Badia told me a story about how Malik Abdullah came to her small town to honor a fallen air force pilot.  After writing letters to alMalik, asking him to help their poor families, several townspeople were contacted to come to Amman.  After appearing on the appointed day at the appointed place, they were each given 300JD (a little over 450 USD when I was there).  The people loved the king and never uttered a word against him.  Hard to believe that those same citizens would rise up and demand a new leader.

Saudi Arabia?  Yemen?  Qatar?  Might these countries be next?  If so, how will the Obama administration react and how will the Arab street react to the U.S.'s reaction?

My thoughts?  It's too soon to tell.  I understand that people make a living trying to predict the future.  But there could be many different outcomes, each with different implications for the Middle East and the rest of the world.